yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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