Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dignity is for republicans.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
