yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
