I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Shame is for Republicans.
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