how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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