Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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