We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
