Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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