So gin and wine won't be happening again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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