I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i drank out of a bidet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
