I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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