I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
