She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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