how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize