party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's blow job season.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
