i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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