When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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