this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
