It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Of course I have a pirate flag
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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