Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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