I molested 6 butterflies tonight
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Pooping to opera.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
