"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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