apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize