When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
