i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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