Your dad touched me again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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