im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
