My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
