never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
