wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She even gives head with a lisp.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
