After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
