worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
