The maid of honor just puked.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
