I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
