he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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