This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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