she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
