just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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