The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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