dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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