She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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