How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize