Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
