I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
