No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
there is puke in my bra ... again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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