Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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