so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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