If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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