Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
