Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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