how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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