Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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  (727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night (303): lol who won (727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me http://tfl.nu/pmtb
  Replies (15) Good night (1533) Bad night (882)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life

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  (614): That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life http://tfl.nu/6e7y
  Replies (93) Good night (2024) Bad night (2121)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

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  (218): My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles. http://tfl.nu/kfaj
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (3176)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.

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  (+44): I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download. http://tfl.nu/w3hx
  Replies (7) Good night (791) Bad night (2969)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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  (519): I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position" http://tfl.nu/0g0v
  Replies (8) Good night (4414) Bad night (956)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming

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  (425): Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming http://tfl.nu/1h5t
  Replies (4) Good night (3028) Bad night (829)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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  (928): Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned http://tfl.nu/e99u
  Replies (12) Good night (1806) Bad night (1231)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.

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  (705): My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/aval
  Replies (4) Good night (2355) Bad night (911)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.

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  (908): Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/ge44
  Replies (9) Good night (2092) Bad night (760)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though

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  (+31): Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though http://tfl.nu/2ww7
  Replies (4) Good night (1313) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next

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  (850): She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next http://tfl.nu/slhn
  Replies (10) Good night (3624) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.

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  (306): You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota. http://tfl.nu/9skm
  Replies (5) Good night (952) Bad night (433)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.

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  (208): I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko. http://tfl.nu/cj6v
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (269)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad

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  (978): Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad http://tfl.nu/d7yn
  Replies (6) Good night (1489) Bad night (429)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.

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  (815): I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle. http://tfl.nu/d26w
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (192)

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