eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
