apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We are two peas in an std pod
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha