put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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