I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
