I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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