when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
